I can always count on my friends to make me laugh but i cant count on them all the time. My best friends are liars, cheaters, and phyco. the saddest thing though that really hurt me is someone who i was close with didnt say hi to me when i walked into a place where she was. I know she saw me. it just hurt because after the rough summer i had being ignored was not wht i needed.


John is one of the happiest and saddest parts of my life. I love him with all my heart but him being away at college just doesnt sit well in my head. maybe because im not in college, or maybe because i would never have the strength to go away to college if he was home. i love him to death but i just dont know if its worth this terrible heartache. 


I dont know why i don’t like it so much. I don’t see myself never drinking but i dont get why people do it so much. maybe im naive to it. but i really dont think i am. i think i actually have seen and heard too much of it when i was naive and thats the problem. sometimes i wish i was a normal teenager but it doesnt matter, i am not. 

its a secret

I just made this tumblr. I had a tumblr but i rarely used it and the only time i did was late at night. Here i am late at night with a new tumblr starting over. I dont really want to follow anyone i just want to type my good feelings so i could remember them and the bad ones to try and get them out of my head. im not sure if i want this tumblr to be found by anyone or not. But read the name. im lost and quite frankly i am not to sure about anything except i have a big emotional heart.